Heart feelings

In a hadith from Sahih al-Bukhari that deeply affected me when I heard it a long time ago...

Abdullah ibn Hisham (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: "We were with the Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him), and he was holding the hand of Umar ibn al-Khattab. Umar said to him, 'O Messenger of Allah, you are dearer to me than everything except myself.' The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, 'No, by the One in whose hand is my soul, not until I am dearer to you than yourself.' Umar then said, 'Now, by Allah, you are dearer to me than myself.' The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, 'Now, O Umar.'" (Narrated by al-Bukhari).

What changed in that moment?! Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) was sincere before and after, telling the Prophet (peace be upon him) that he loved himself more than anything else, even more than the Prophet in his heart. Until the Prophet (peace be upon him) informed him that true love for him (the Prophet) could only be if Umar loved him more than himself!!! Can you imagine the scene? Close your eyes and try. What happened was that Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) thought for a moment and then told him that he truly and sincerely loved the Prophet (peace be upon him) more than himself. What changed in those moments? Can feelings of love change in an instant in a person's heart? I imagine that in that moment, in the presence of the best of creation, the Prophet (peace be upon him), Umar thought that loving the Prophet (peace be upon him) was more beneficial, superior, and stronger than loving himself. So his perspective on self-love shifted, and it came second. The thought and perspective changed in an instant—then the feelings changed!!!

O Turner of hearts, turn our hearts to Your obedience... Indeed, hearts are in the hands of Allah alone; He turns them as He wills. All of us have encountered or heard of people whom we thought were among the best in piety, faith, and good deeds, only for their situation to change to the opposite—corruption or even atheism! And the same goes for the opposite... How many people have we met, known, or even heard of who were walking the path of corruption, only for their situation to change in an instant to faith, piety, and closeness to Allah through good deeds... Indeed, deeds are judged by their endings.

How many people have become attached to each other, feeling that their lives couldn't go on without one another, and years passed, whether they stayed together or separated, and life went on as usual. Or how many stories have turned from love to hatred or vice versa. What is the secret? Is it boredom, habit, or circumstances? Surely, one of the strongest reasons that strengthen or weaken any relationship is the circumstances that occur, whether between them or even times apart, which change their thoughts and feelings. Hearts are in the hands of Allah alone; He turns them as He wills...

A long time ago, I heard from the preacher Amr Khaled a story about a man before the conquest of Andalusia. He passed by a tent of soldiers and found the men spending the night in prayer and reciting the Quran, so he felt assured that the Muslims were in a good state and that victory was certain... Years later, he passed by a tent and found a soldier crying and lamenting his attachment, the pain of love, and separation from his beloved. He then knew that this was the time when the Muslims would face defeat, and indeed, it happened with the expulsion of the Muslims from Andalusia! This story deeply affected me, and I thought about it a lot, strongly rejecting the idea that someone close to Allah could fall into such attachment to another person to the point where their life stops, and their thoughts revolve around only one person, forgetting everything else. I believe that in this age of social media and the many, many stories we see and hear, it's no longer surprising why this happens. No one is safe from trials in any way. We ask Allah for pardon and well-being. O Turner of hearts, turn our hearts to Your obedience.

I remembered a story that happened to me in the fifth grade—an English teacher gave a surprise test... and promised a prize (sweets and such) to whoever got full marks. At the time, with my young mind, I thought this was haram (forbidden) and a form of gambling, and I was certain that if I succeeded, I wouldn't take the sweets because, in my view, they were haram... Ahem, ahem... And honestly, I felt like I did poorly... Anyway, my handwriting was terrible, but I was surprised to find that I got full marks and was among the winners... I went and took the chocolate, looked at it, and said, "No way I'm eating this." I went home and insisted that my grandmother (may Allah have mercy on her) eat it because I felt it was haram for me to eat it, considering it a bet and all. Anyway, my grandmother refused to take it, and in the end, I looked at the chocolate, it melted in my hand, and I ate it. Regardless of the fact that I later confirmed it wasn't haram and my thinking was wrong at the time, this experience taught me not to judge your strength and the strength of your principles until you're put to the test. Don't say, "I would never do that if I were in that person's situation," or reject someone's weakness in another situation. Everyone is accountable for themselves in the end, and no one has the right to judge anyone as right or wrong, no matter what.

In the end, no one can guarantee that if the chocolate came into their hand, they would eat it or remain steadfast in their principles and not eat it... Until the next meeting, and peace be the final word....